I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
