why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
