Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
