Are we in a gay sports bar?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
