he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
