i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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