Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
