my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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