we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
