This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
