Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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