I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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