Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nicole vs. Life
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
