i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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