Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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