Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
