How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
