I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
