i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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