WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
