Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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