is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
