okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
