just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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