u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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