after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
