if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
