My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Your penis caused this!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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