yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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