Don't you send me to vm
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize