okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
