i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
