no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im holly from the hills drunk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
