McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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