Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
