You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
