I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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