if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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