so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
