ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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