yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
