drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize