I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
