I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
