also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
