You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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