wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
