Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Randomize
