i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
