Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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