You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
