His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
