It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
