dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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