i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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