i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
