can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
