and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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