Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
