When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
