Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
oh god was she eating orange peels again
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
