Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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