It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
