one might say we're banned from that church
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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