butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
