Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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