If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize