in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
