yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
His nipple licking is glorious
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