So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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