i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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