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• (586): View more from Michigan

  This girl is very crazy

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's one of those compassionate ppl

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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• (956): View more from Texas

  found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

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• (61): View more from Australia

  Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  it was the only safe place

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