But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize