So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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