i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
